Advice, resources and tips on preparing for parenting with disability

In her book “Accessing Reproductive Technologies: Inedible Harms,” author Judith F. Daar emphasizes that recreation is a basic human right that should be accessible to every human being whether they are disabled or not. Parenting with a disability presents unique challenges. However, when you are well-informed about its various aspects and aware of the different resources you can tap into, parenting will be a fulfilling part of your life.

Planning and preparing for pregnancy, labor and conception

Many women with disabilities can carry a pregnancy to full term and deliver safely. However, in some cases, the mother-to-be may experience infertility and might consider in-vitro fertilization (IVF) as an option to help with conception.

It is important to consult with your doctor before conceiving. Depending on your disability, some of the drugs you are taking may be harmful to your child. Your doctor will guide you on whether to change the drug or halt their use in the course of the pregnancy. The doctor will also walk you through what to expect during your pregnancy and the measures you can take to ensure safety for you and the baby.

For instance, pregnancy puts substantial pressure on the spine even for women without a disability. In women with spinal cord injuries, pregnancy can have a detrimental impact on the already weak spine. Therefore, working with a doctor before getting pregnant helps them create a rehabilitative program for you before and during the pregnancy to strengthen the back enough to withstand carrying a child to full term.

You may experience normal pregnancy discomforts such as headaches, heartburn, occasional dizziness, fatigue, need to urinate often, swollen feet and ankles among others. Consider signing up for prenatal classes at your local hospital for support and to gather as much information about childbirth and child care as possible.

A month to your due date, make a checklist of all the necessary baby supplies, prepare the nursery and pack an essentials bag for you and the baby that you will bring to the hospital. Talk to your spouse, family members and friends about the help you may need after the birth.

Look out for common signs of labor such as tightening of the abdomen, pressure on the pelvis, strong contractions, mucus leakage and water breaking. Labor may show up differently especially for women with paraplegia, tetraplegia, and women with level 10 or above injuries as they may not feel the contractions. In such a case, your doctor may give you a monitor to check for contractions. While a full-term pregnancy lasts 39-40 weeks, be prepared and start checking for labor from week 28.

Home modifications

Part of preparing your home for parenting with a disability is making modifications to make it more accessible. For instance, replace steps with ramps, install expandable hinges for doorways and install skid-resistant flooring to prevent slip and falls. You can access financial assistance to implement the necessary home adjustments.

Regular child-care responsibilities such as bathing, feeding and diapering may prove challenging especially for parents with mobility and sight disabilities. There is a wide range of adaptive equipment and technologies to help facilitate your mobility and ability to attend to your child. An adapted baby carrier for wheelchair would be of great value to a parent with a mobility disability. 

Resources available for parents with disability

Many organizations, both governmental and non-governmental offer support, information and assistance to parents with disabilities. Whether you are looking for a networking forum to share your experiences, financial assistance, child-care support or help with custody issues, there are numerous resources available. Here is a list of websites you can visit for support.

You have come this far in your life through intuition and learning to adapt accordingly. Parenting will present challenges, but you will surmount them and enjoy raising your child.

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